Sunday, December 07, 2008
Speaking of emotions, by the way, I have always sucked at controlling myself and having discipline in various areas in my life, and it shows.
But i think from now until the first of January next year (yes, fateful day -_-) i have to practise
emotional control.Compartmentalise. Store it away like waste. Push it all away when you can feel it's lapping up at you.
Because i just don't want to feel misery. It's inevitable, but i shouldn't feel it now. Not yet.
So those who know what's going to happen to me on New Years' Day next year, please.
Please. For my sake. Please let it remain as a banned topic and don't tell me things like
"OH MY GOD I'M GOING TO
insert four-letter M word here. YOU SOOO MUCH."
Each time you say something like that, you are like something huge knocking against an emotional dam i am saving.
Knocking causes cracks, cracks causes leaks. I don't want any floods. Not yet. Save the worst for last -_-
Nevertheless, i'm already causing my own small leaks, by visualising how the atmosphere will be that day and what everybody is going to do.
.... And it stops there. No more. I am definitely going to
four-letter M word everybody but i want to feel that later, not now.
inside out at 11:50 PM
