Lol in case you forget, the url is www.buried-wreckage.blogspot.com
inside out at 8:06 PM
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
inside out at 8:35 PM
Monday, December 29, 2008
Why aren't you online.
Anyway, i think i'm going to use buried wreckage again. I've come to realise that the whole Bill thing was just a massive crush, but it has really been toned down now
Have you ever felt like you wanted to meet someone so badly for the last time before you leave to another part of this world for a very long time?
):
inside out at 9:08 PM
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Yesterday my squadmates and I had our P.O.P (Pass Out Parade). It was organised by the juniors, and after some walking around at Parkway with tifa, who had to leave later on but came back to eat ice cream (hahah), we finally went to east coast park. (And they didn't get to see S.)
It was fun. :)
Not.
I'm sorry. I don't want to come across as unappreciative whiny bitch condescending senior. But i can't lie that i'm not disappointed, because i really, really am.
I'm not going to go into specifics about why it was disappointing, but overall, it was as though we weren't respected, acknowledged for our efforts, or even interacted with. Some people just stood and the corner and were stoning.
And i'm quite sad for Aishah cos she told me she stayed up all night writing notes to her squad individually, when the letter they gave her was on the souvenir itself and was extremely brief.
Many people didn't even turn up.
And if my juniors are reading this, i bet they'll say, "What a bitch, at least we HAD pop for them."
Well my reply to that will be yes i know, thank you. But it seemed forced and not something that was sincere.
I'm not the self-glorifying type but i dare say our pop for our seniors was significantly better.And i'm not expecting a hotel standard or something, i just want to see the whole-heartedness and sincerity of it all. Is that so hard? And, more importantly, is that how much respect we deserve?
On the flipside, though, we DID have a game, though only one. It was twister! And i participated.
Quote of the day: "I look like i'm masturbating" - Natasya, while playing Twister and had her hands between her legs to reach a circle
xD
and they gave me a card before i went to london!! awwww. thanks guys :D though the cat was let out of the bag because i walked over to get myself some sausages then natasya yelled something like "AISHAH! AISHAH!" just because aishah was beside me and bent down writing something. then i saw my squad picture.
but hahaha it was really sweet of you guys, thanks.
After that it was already around 5pm so we walked back to parkway. Sweating is horrible. And the only reason why i was sweating exceptionally more was because i layered my already-hot NCO tee with a white long-sleeved shirt. I don't want sunburns. But the thing was, we were sitting under a tree at ecp.
And i also wore my sneakers cos i didn't want to get my toes all muddy again like the other time we went to ecp, but the thing was, we were standing on sand in ecp.
-_-
Talk about wasted effort. pfff.
Oh yeah, on my way to pp from ecp, i called my house because my IELTS exam(the english exam) results were due either two days ago or yesterday. I got the mail yesterday and my grandmother read it out to me. I'm not bragging but i think i'm quite proud of myself :) My brother scored higher but that was because he was trained there in london, i taught it all myself with this guide book.
Well good, now i don't have to take english in my college. Haha. it's a waste of money and time.
Anyway, as i was saying. So we were highly indecisive, and the weather made us succumb to bubbletea. i don't think they would call it succumb, but it was definitely succumb for me because i already ate ice cream with tifa and the rest in pp! ._.
Eventually we decided to go to the airport to eat at popeyes'. another looong journey. but my bus ride was filled with me discussing make-up with chia li. man, she's a knowledgable one!
at the airport, i remember telling fifah she was hot and i really meant it, then she immediately hugged me XD fifah, i was sweating a lot you know. hahaha.
then in the sky train on the way to terminal one, asyikin, aishah and i discussed frozen blood in winter. ehem. knowing aishah, it wouldn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what we were talking about. it was highly amusing though.
i really had no more appetite so i shared my meal with aishah at popeyes'. aishah, fifah, syikin and i talked because we were sitting near each other. i was telling them about someone when asyikin said it would be funny if a guy asked you for your home address.
"then in the end he send you kad raye."
i nearly choked on my chicken laughing.
then fifah told me a similar incident with her, except it's the phone number instead.
fifah : *immitates the way the guy asked for her number, a very flirty way*
aishah: omg. if a guy did that to me, i'll be like *o.o face* "HUH?"
lmfao aishah. selambe pleasee.
then aishah, being aishah, said a couple more things that made fifah and i laugh. like how she wore her sister's fake lashes once and looked like a bapok. hahahaha whuuuuttt. don't crap man.
ida was telling yijun about her CI experience. haha sorry ida i didn't really hear cos you were sitting quite far from me. but i heard yi jun going all "oh my god i should have joined!". Looool.
and fathima, i think you're cool. you are quiet and don't really talk much until people talk to you, but the thing is, you observe. your message to me last night was quite shocking because i didn't think you heard what i said about someone
when we were done, i had to leave already (goddamned curfews.) while the rest wanted to chill. so i hugged them all and made my way to the airport mrt myself OMG I'M SO PROUD OF MYSELF BECAUSE I DIDN'T GET LOST
-_- i am a beeeeembo. when it comes to directions.
oh by the way, i'd like to thank ida for teaching me how to be cool about giving my letter to someone. very nice of you. i need to learn how to be cool, because i'm still slenge no matter how hard i try.
):
on the way home on the mrt was sad. i just had an awesome outing with my squadmates but the sadness came when i thought about this being the last time or one of the last times we're going out as a squad together.
i just hope people don't forget me.
):
and of course, i felt sad because the next day, which is today, is probably the last time in a long time that i'm going to see someone again. i'm just glad i didn't leave any stone unturned and seized all opportunity. but i do wonder if it's a mistake. oh well! thank God for the internet. :)
somehow i can relate to that song.i love that song but why is there a sort of sex scene in it o_o
then i went home and checked something on the computer which made me happy. (:
"bust in the door and take me away, no more mistakes, cos in your eyes i'd like to stay" - thinking of you, katy perry.
inside out at 9:18 PM
Friday, December 26, 2008
inside out at 8:23 AM
I don't mean to be an open book, but i think i have a crush on someone. Let's just call him S.
My mother signed up for two sessions with a personal trainer, because if you sign up with a personal trainer you can go into the gym for free every day rather than have to pay about $40 daily, which is ridiculous. Let my p.t be called, W.
On Wednesday, i had my first p.t session. I was really nervous, because my p.t is a man and i am a slenge. -_-
So I went into the gym and saw both S at the counter and a friend my mother and i made at the gym recently, whom i shall just call M.
M: Eh, hello Nadiah!
Me: Hello!
M: What are you doing here?
Me: Oh, i have p.t.
M: With who?
S, hearing the conversation, answers for me. : W.
Me: Haha yeah. I'm really scared because this is my first time.
M: Don't worry, he is the p.t for my son and he's very good! *talks a lot about W*
Suddenly...
S: Nadiah, i know you think W is hot right. Don't worry just tell me. I won't tell your mother.
Me: *Stunned* Uh... No.
S: It's okay just tell me! I won't tell your mother, seriously.
Me: No, no. I really don't.
M: Eh, actually you(referring to S) have a nice body yourself! Slim, tall...
Me: *relieved someone else agrees with me* Yeah he does!
S: No la where got. C'mon Nadiah just tell me he's hot. He has a nice body.
Me: *First person who comes to mind is non other than Bill Kaulitz* Uh no, i kind of prefer skinny guys.
S: Really? Okay tell you what. You have a good look at him first and then later tell me if he's hot.
Me: I don't la! But okay.
*I go off for an hour to have my session, and later come back to the counter*
S: So? You haven't answered my question.
Me: Well he (W) is alright, kind of short though. I prefer skinny guys.
S: Skinny guys?
Me: Yeah. *Thinks about what M and i conversed about, and tries to hint to S* And tall ^_^
S: Oh skinny and tall. Well if i were a girl I would have a crush on W. (HAHAHAHAHAHA.)
Me: *Amused*
S: I'll try and find someone for you.
But you're right in front of me.
*S and I talk about something related to music, and i pointed out that 'Oh you know the lead singer of Tokio Hotel? This German band? That, is hot.' But i don't think he heard me. -_- Then the phone rang and he picked it up and i thought it would be a short phone call but it wasn't so i waved goodbye and left.*
The next day was yesterday, a Thursday, and i had my second and last session with W.
In the morning yesterday, i called Shah up to tell her about my departure on the first of January and the time and venue of it. Then i told her about S.
Me: Shahiylia, should i just say this to him - 'You know about what you said yesterday about W being hot? Well i think you're hotter.'
Shah: Yeah yeah!! Say that!
Me: Aiya but quite flirty la. But nevermind, in life you have to take risks right?
*Shah and I burst out laughing, and i told myself i wasn't going to let myself down and just tell him that even though it is shameless.*
When i came to the gym, i was slightly sad and also slightly relieved that S wasn't at the counter. I went in, met W and started my session.
We were seated inside this room where i usually have my classes. This room is separated from the outside by glass, so you can see everything from inside. I remember distinctly W asking me to get some dumbbells in the opposite corner of the room. Then i turned my head to the glass and i thought i saw S walking to the male toilet, looking at me and giving that i-know-you-think-W-is-hot smile. I could still make him out even though i wasn't wearing specs.
Oh crap, i thought, he's here.
I think my personal trainer must think i'm quite mad. Sometimes I smile to myself. But in this case it was for a reason.
The exercise machines we used were outside the male toilet. So half the time i was looking in that direction, hoping to see someone come out.
And i did. -_-
He was at the gym to work out himself. Near me. Which was embarrassing. I was really conscious of his presence, and i hoped he wasn't looking at me, particularly when i was doing this embarrassing exercise which i couldn't do on my own so my p.t had to help me out. In this embarrassing way.
While my p.t was explaining to me things and teaching me new exercises i could do alone overseas, the only thing i could think of was S, and that he remain as far away from me as possible so that he could not see my slengeness.
Finally, after a briefing i had with my personal trainer about diet (By the way, my personal trainer lost 35kg in 6 months, because he worked out like hell and only lived on sweet potato and fish. Which i find both masochistic and fascinating. o_o), i took a bath.
After that, i walked to the counter and half-hoped S was there but also half-hoped he wasn't.
I looked at this mirror which reflects the counter. He was there.
Me: Hello...
S: Hi!
*We talked about something but i forgot what it was*
Me: *looks down and thinks about my telephone conversation with shah* Uh, S, can i tell you something?
S: Sure. What?
Me: No, nevermind actually. I probably shouldn't.
S: What? Just tell me.
Me: No la. Malu.
S: What, you think i'm cute?
Me: *Acts shock and blinks eyes, although i can feel myself blushing* Huh? What? How did you jump to that assumption?
S: What assumption?
Me: That i think you're cute.
S: No la i was just joking. So what is it?
Me: Uh... Okay. You know yesterday when you said W is hot?
S: Yes?
Me: Well i think you're...
Just say it.
Me: Better. *is annoyed with myself for not having the ballz to say what i actually wanted to say*
S: Huh? No la. I want to have a body like Nick Lachey.
Me: Really? I think you're just fine.
S: How old are you?
Me: 16... I just turned 16 this month.
S: Oh yeah.How old do you think i am?
Me: Twenty... Something.
S: 22.
Me: Oh? Jo (this other person at the counter) told me you're 25.
S: Nonsense ah he, i'm 22. I just finished NS. I'm still schooling.
Me: Ooo. Where?
S: SIM
Me: What does that stand for?
S: *Tells me what it stands for but i forgot -_- *
*Then the conversation just went on and on from there, and he told me that this Sunday was his last day working here because he was going to be a teacher for autistic kids.... Aww. *
Me: Huh really? Your last day here? I'm going soon too actually. Next week.
S: Yeah. Why don't we keep contact? Email? Msn? *He passes me a piece of paper where i could write my email.I could feel my cheeks heating up by then. Hopefully he didn't see -_-"*
Me: Here you go.
S: Okay. Will you be here on Sunday?
Me: I think so. Why?
S: Yay. Then i can see you. *I smile to myself*
Me: Okay, see you. Bye!
S: Bye!
I was smiling as i made my way from the gym to the bottom floor to buy some sashimi. Which is why i said, i don't think i'm that much different from AZ.
Was that counted as flirting or being nice? Because if it was flirting, then i swear to God - it was freaking. Fun.
I'm not sleazy though! I'm anything but sleazy. I'm not boasting, but i can't make it there. I'm still the same lost sheep person (-_- at aishah for coining the term) you know!
Alright i better get going, i'm going to meet a friend (NOT S) soon.
-_-
inside out at 8:13 AM
Sunday, December 21, 2008
So, i haven't been blogging much. Not that i don't want to, it's just that there's nothing much to blog about, life has been going on in its same monotonous pace, and i've been busy doing the things i told myself i would do when the O'levels ended.
It just shocks me deeply that i have barely two weeks left before i'm going to be in another part of the world - which might as well be called another WORLD, due to the many differences between that place and this country.
And there's so little time to spend with the people that matter to me most, namely my family and friends. Yes, family. Referring to the post below, i had a fall out with my mother because she kept critisizing something which i like. So what she said might be true, but the way she said it... It's enough to make you explode. (Explode as in, anger explode.)
I still don't want kids, by the way.Lol. I have come up with a theory - no offense to anyone - that the less people in your life, the better. Of course i don't mean my family and friends, the most important people in my life who give me support, or help me when i'm down. I mean, like kids. Because as long as you have a spouse i think you'll feel as though you have enough company?
I mean i don't know, i don't mean to sound like some jaded person who's seen all the troubles in this world. I do have troubles, yes, but compared to some other people they are neglegible and insignificant.
But i'm allergic to disappointment. I feel this particular pang of pain somewhere deep down when i see someone who's disappointed in me. The pain of inadequacy.
So, partially based on that post below, and partially due to the several episodes where people have been disappointed in me, i do not want to have children. I don't want to be a mother who's not good enough, and i don't want to have children who i feel don't give me what i deserve. In short, i just want to be surrounded by the people i need in life, not the ones i want. But maybe my wants and needs will change in the future, just as anything else.
Right, so all that babbling on children above just made me remember a couple of things - there have been really good news for the past few days, thanks to God.
1) I've officially received my UK visa, which means it's confirmed that i'm going to study overseas. Now i'm just worried about how much i will get for my O levels,because even though i won't be in Singapore to collect it, i still want to have a decent score. -.-
2) I LOST FOUR KG IN TOTAL! WOOOOHOOOHOOOHOOOHOOO. Although, i still have (x-4)kg to go, and x ain't a small amount. (I do hope people realise that weight loss isn't only about how it looks, it's also about health and fitness. I am born in a family where cancer, diabetes, obesity, high blood pressure etc are very, very common. So to not be the next one, i'll have to change my lifestyle to a healthy one.)
I still haven't accomplised the most important thing in my life - to be a better Muslim. I planned to do a lot of things in this area but i have not. I'm still planning... And hopefully i do the things i planned soon...
-_- indecisive and procrastinating. The usual. I listened to this religious talk by an Imam or something, i forgot, not too long ago, and he said that life is like a you, a traveller, resting under a tree while you are in a desert - never get too comfortable in it because you'll have to move on. Something along those lines. I'm trying to remember that life is not permanent and that i'm going to be held accountable for everything i've done in life, but it just slips off my memory sometimes...
And I honestly hope studying won't be so painful in college. I actually like studying and learning new things, just not for exams. I abhor exams.
But yeah. I feel like a traveller now. I'll just pick up these mistakes i've made and the people i've hurt and move on, hopefully not making the same mistakes again.
inside out at 11:48 PM
Friday, December 19, 2008
A lot of decisions you think you make during adolescence may be due to impulse.
I'm not sure about that, but for now i'm clear on one thing : I don't want kids even if i do get married.
And there are two reasons for that - ONE : I don't want to be like my mother.
TWO: I don't want my daughter, if i ever have one, to be like me.
Opposites attract, but not largely contrasting personalities. And don't give me that bullcrap about "Oh but love transcends everything."
It does, but what kind of love is it, if the FOUNDATION of it - trust - isn't even present?
inside out at 12:15 AM
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
To be honest, I've actually come to realise that birthdays mean nothing except for the fact that you're one year older.
And that should be a time for self-evaluation and contemplating, not a time for celebration. In fact, i think that should be the case for every year during your birthday.
(I still do appreciate what the people around me have done for me, nevertheless :] )
Well, looking back on my life, there have been real highs, and there have been real lows. I've done good things, and i've also made lots of mistakes. I've changed as a person, but for both better and worse.I suppose that's what adolescence does to you.
I'm not really going to have any new year resolutions, because i know from experience that they just lose their novelty and fade away.
I'm just going to have a new main motto in my life; besides doing good as much as i can (though many times, as a human being, i do make several mistakes), i'd like to live life to the fullest, as cliche as that sounds. I'd like to work hard in all aspects, and live up to what i CAN do, and i'm not going to leave any stone unturned.
Because besides disappointment, the other thing i hate to feel is regret.
I hope i keep this promise i made to myself. Writing it here in my blog gives me a sense of confirmation, as if i'm signing a treaty.
Anyway, yesterday my family couldn't celebrate my birthday with me because they are ALL overseas (-_-), so i went out bowling with bibs and tips instead.
We named ourselves Beeb, Bob and Bill. Guess who's who ^_^
Bibs and I were yelling, "CAN! CAN! CAN!" Hahahaha. (As in, can have a strike)
SOMEONE 'accidentally' had three strikes ("The ball terlepas from my hand and i was like, eh?)
HAHAHA.
Then it was already 5.30pm so we wanted to go back already, but i wanted to get a choker from the place beside where we had our prom, which was Peninsular Shopping Centre.
So i went in and chose one (The lady selling it was very cute), then i was about to pay whennnn
Tips: "It's okay, it's her birthday so we'll pay for her"
Me: O_O
HAHAHAHA.
Actually i could already sense something fishy.... XD
But thanks soooo much guys. That was very nice of you =D
Another reason why I dislike birthdays, by the way, is that i don't really like receiving gifts! I feel very... bad?
Yeah, i feel bad being at the receiving end. -_-
But like i said above, i reaaaaaaallllyyy appreciate it. :D
OH MY GOD
Is that bill on the left?? =O
*Hyperventilates, then calms down*
Oh man. It's like, when you usually wear a lot of make up and when you remove it, you'll look quite weird, you know?
Or maybe he just woke up from sleep.
Yeah.
-_-
So, as i was saying before i interrupted myself (-_-) ,
yeah then after the birthday surprise at the punk shop, we took the same MRT home. Had to wait for a second one as the first one was completely full.
Inside the MRT train, Bibs made a funny blinking gesture. I laughed. Tifa then made the az-face. I laughed again. Then i told them to combine the two.
I exploded. :)
There was an indian businessman-looking guy whom i thought was angry at me for making so much noise at first, but after a while tips pointed out that he was actually trying not to laugh.
This was confirmed particularly when i exploded again (Haha i was the only one making noise in the train XD) and he had to bury his face in his arm AHAHAHAH and i saw him vibrating.
Just laugh man! I'm not those bitchy types of people who give you the 'o_O excuse-me-you-don't-belong-in-our-clique-so-stop-laughing-at-our-jokes' kind of look! The more the merrier man!
But yeah, tips said he probably wanted to keep his reputation if he was a businessman.
Hahaha, aishah, i can't wait for you to come back to singapore so i can ask tifa to show that blinky az-face. New and improved version.
--
Had my IELTS exam on Saturday. I think i screwed up this section called Academic Reading, an equivalent of comprehension.
It had three passages and 40 mcq questions in ONE hour. How the heck was i supposed to do that? ):
And my parents and younger bro left for Australia on Sunday. I don't regret not going though, my grandmother told me my brother's dying of boredom there hahahaha.
Okay then, i should be leaving now. I have no idea why but i feel lethargic today.
inside out at 10:57 PM
Monday, December 15, 2008
):
And today i can officially watch NC-16 movies.
Yaye.
:)
Shall blog more soon.
inside out at 12:53 AM
Tuesday, December 09, 2008
So, i might not be going to London after all.
Hell, i'm not even going to Australia for my holiday.
If you're having the 'O_O WHUUUUUUUUT??' expression now, picture me exactly like that, but a thousand times worse.
So today my parents and I went to this building to get this UK Student Visa thing which i require to be a student there.
Filling up the annoyingly lengthy forms were bad enough. The form is at least fifteen times longer than that white sheet of paper you need to fill in to enter Malaysia.
What is worse is the fact that getting my student Visa would take 15 working days, excluding the weekends and the Christmas holidays, which would take three days.
And during the course of my whole application, my passport is to remain with the British authorities. Which is something i find absolutely absurd, considering the fact that i have given them a photocopy of my passport AND a photocopy of the photocopy of my passport. (-_-) So why do they even require the original version?
Which means, i can't go to Perth, Australia, which i was supposed to this week, as my passport is not with me.
Which means that my family is in a dilemma of whether to go without me or stay with me because they'll be spending my birthday without me. (I told them, though, to just go, because it would be selfish to cancel a holiday because of my goddamned passport.)
That was slightly disappointing, but i don't really feel much because Perth is a really dead town where not much shopping can be done.
That isn't the issue though.
Since the application for the student visa card will take 15 working days, my mother counted and that means the EARLIEST i will get it is on the 2nd of January, 2009.
Which means my parents would have to cancel BOTH my plane ticket to Australia AND my plane ticket to London on the 1st, and postpone my flight to probably the 3rd of January.
Which also means that i have to adjust to the London time (which is 7 or 8 hours earlier than Singapore, i can't remember) a couple of days prior to that, so i won't go to my school on the 6th of January looking like a zombie because of jetlag.
And there is also another problem : I don't even know if the British authorities will reject my application or not.
So the inevitable question comes to mind : With so many things hindering my way to get what i want , is it God's way of telling me that this is not meant for me?
I can't do anything now but pray. Neither can my parents. They've given me incredible support and done everything humanely possible to help me.
But why must my luck be like this, as compared to say, my brother?
My brother didn't make the cut for the secondary school he intended to go to. My parents appealed and he got in. I slogged my arse off in primary six and didn't get to the secondary school i wanted.
The principal of my brother's college in Croydon accepted him not based on his prelims, but based on his 'family history'. This year the principal changed and is an extremely strict one. My parents applied for that college but he plainly said that my prelim results did not qualify and therefore i was on the waiting list.
My mother remember my brother getting this student visa card within a week or less of application. I have to wait for more than three weeks and get my holiday - the last chance of me spending some time with my family IF i were to go to London - cancelled.
So let's say i don't go to London and stay in Singapore.
How much will i get for my O levels? What JC can i go to with those results? If i can qualify for VJC how pressurising will it be? What about TJC?
In the end, if God doesn't let me have the job i want, what will my future be like?
inside out at 11:32 PM
Sunday, December 07, 2008
But i think from now until the first of January next year (yes, fateful day -_-) i have to practise emotional control.
Compartmentalise. Store it away like waste. Push it all away when you can feel it's lapping up at you.
Because i just don't want to feel misery. It's inevitable, but i shouldn't feel it now. Not yet.
So those who know what's going to happen to me on New Years' Day next year, please. Please. For my sake. Please let it remain as a banned topic and don't tell me things like
"OH MY GOD I'M GOING TO insert four-letter M word here. YOU SOOO MUCH."
Each time you say something like that, you are like something huge knocking against an emotional dam i am saving.
Knocking causes cracks, cracks causes leaks. I don't want any floods. Not yet. Save the worst for last -_-
Nevertheless, i'm already causing my own small leaks, by visualising how the atmosphere will be that day and what everybody is going to do.
.... And it stops there. No more. I am definitely going to four-letter M word everybody but i want to feel that later, not now.
inside out at 11:50 PM
Decisions are divided into two categories - rationale and logic, emotions and feeling.
Sometimes you rely on one category, and other times, the other.
Sometimes a decision requires both.
Which was exactly what happened to me. Using rationale and emotions, i was adamant on this particular decision i made.
Until my feelings, which obviously outnumber my rationale, broke down my wall.
Now i'm going with the completely different decision than i thought i would.
I don't know, i suppose acting all tough and unfeeling is difficult for me.
Because i'm really just a softie on the inside. -_-
inside out at 11:28 PM
Friday, December 05, 2008
Not something i would usually announce in a place accessible to the whole world, but one thing i like about periods, despite the cramps and the moodswings, is the fact that i can wear nail polish :3
Yesterday was a really busy day. I had gym in the morning, and then (awkwardly) wore my school uniform to go to school as one of my friends left something of mine in the class cupboard (just to find out, by the way, that everything in the class cupboards had been thrown away, so there goes my book...), and so after that i decided to check out Regal Nails outside school because i've been looking forward to a manicure and pedicure for a loooong time.
Found out the prices of a manicure with french tips and then i went home, drenched in sweat.
At home, i found out i had my thing! Which made me super hyper but also slightly annoyed, because if i had just known from school i wouldn't have to travel aaalllll the way back home, what more with the horrid weather.
Called to get an appointment and had my nails done. I really, realllyyy have been inspired by Bill Kaulitz (Haha wouldn't you be surprised) and so i decided to have french tips on my fingernails.
I think they can look either nice or very awful. Unfortunately, my whole family had an opinion of the latter -_-
Then, for toenails, i was thinking of doing it myself, but i didn't want to mess with my manicured fingernails so i just got them to do it for me instead.
Hehehehe i got inspired by Mary. Sorry Mary! Saw you wearing it at the beach and thought it was purdy :3
And i was sitting there happily as the only customer, when suddenly guess who walks in?
The PRINCIPAL.
I know it's very bad and stereotypical to think that principals are the extremely hard-working types who have no time for some self-indulgence, so i shrugged that thought off. What sort of freaked me out was the fact that she walked in on the exact same day and TIME i was there.
It was on the tip of my tongue to say at least a "Hello", and personally i can't stand those people who know you but ignore you, but i was so intimidated! So i just did what i do best - stare.
I think she knew i was staring at her. I think she recognised me too. 0_0
Well so that was in the afternoon.
Had gym again at night, and i discovered something startling about myself there.
I am attracted to gays.
(If anybody says anything about Bill i shall kick you in the ass)
No no no, i mean masculine gays. Masculine men, who talk very... uh. Cutely.
Or at least that's my opinion of them. Cute.
I have this obviously gay gym instructor. Sometimes you can just tell that people are gay by the way they talk.
Okay, okay.You're going to tell me i'm contradicting myself now because Bill doesn't talk like a straight man either and i believe he's not gay. Fine, gym instructors... Well they seem gay until proven otherwise.
(In Bill's case it's because of the video where he said he's not gay! :D)
And in many cases, they really, really do not seem straight.
I don't know why. I just find them very appealing. I don't know if, once again, my passion for androgyny has gotten in the way and i like any men with any kind of feminine quality.
I don't know if i find the way they talk, i.e, girly, very. Attractive.
(The seemingly-gay instructors: *Claps hands twice* Okay! Now change leg!
Me: Thinks- Hehe.So gay. And cute.)
I don't know! I just like gays.
I think i should make a parody of Katy Perry's 'Ur so Gay' and call it 'Ur So Gay...And Cute.'
-_-
And it never really hit me before, but it's starting to get to me : I miss my friends!
Well i keep thinking about the most random things. Ida, i somehow keep thinking about that Big Bang parody that got both you and I giggling like shitz.
Hahaha.
And i miss flooding smses about merepek things with tifa ):
Now one person is halfway across the world probably muke-azing at Gaspard/Bill look-a-likes and another one probably looks like someone ripped her favourite teddybear apart and going "YES MAAM!"
Only Serious.B and i are left! And i keep..procrastinating with Serious.
Procrastinating as in, procrastinating to call her.
Two (Or was it three?) days ago : Aishah, in an sms: I want to talk to you!
Me: Ok, tonight!
*That whole day i was really busy so i told her tomorrow*
Next day: Me: I'll call you today.
Aishah: Haha k.
*Once again, I didn't.*
Yesterday: Me: Ok, ok. Today.
*Makes a promise to self to make some time to call Aishah*
In the end, i received an sms from Aishah: Eh, i'm tired ah. Call you tomorrow.
Me: Omg! That was exactly what i was about to tell you!
Today: Me: I'll call you when i get back home from gym tonight.
*Went somewhere after gym, came home, played the comp and didn't call Aishah*
-_-.
Tomorrow okay, dude. Or rather, today, considering it's almost 2AM in the morning.
-__-.
And by the way, speaking of Aishah, i read her blog just now.
Among the few things i hate intensely, i also hate it when people who have wronged you act as though nothing has happened. Seriously, i think it takes some conscience and common sense to realise that things can never actually be the same.
And yeah, to blame it on stupid things like immaturity or just 'being like that' - Totally unacceptable excuse. Speaks volumes of your personality, or should i say, lack of it.
But it's okay Aishah, we'll move on, and just let these kinds of people go on in their deluded oblivious worlds. At least we have each other. (Omg, so gay. Hahaha.)
ATIFA AND IDA COME BACK QUICKLY! I just realised that I really don't have much time left!
This whole week i'll have to study for my IELTS, the English exam i have to take at the British Council building. It's next Saturday, on the 13th of December, and literally takes up the whole day.
Then on the 14th i'm immediately flying to Australia for about 5 days. In other words, i won't get to spend both my birthday and the release of Twilight in Singapore.
And then, i have slightly less than two weeks till January. I'm leaving Singapore on the 1st of January because my term starts on the 6th of January.
TIME FLIES SO FAST!!
Whatever happens, we have to take neoprints. At least once or twice more.
inside out at 2:00 AM
