:3 Welcome

Sunday, November 30, 2008

----

Chocolate is a sin.

On a MUCH lighter note, i was surfing up pics of who-else just now and found this one

http://www.teenidols4you.com/picture.html?g=Actors&pe=bill_kaulitz&foto=554&act=660&mv=4&pic=178127

Shall not put the picture up here because i want to know your reaction when you see it. Ida called me on the spot because she was 'excited' XD Cute.

Okay dad's asking me to sleep now. Toodle do!

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Nobody tagged me, but oh well.

Regulations of this quiz is :
- People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs & replace any questions that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.
- Tag 6 people to do this quiz & those who are tagged cannot refuse. -These people must state who they were tagged by & cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by.
-Continue this game by sending it to other people.



Q : If you had 3 wishes, what will that be?
A : 1) End of poverty
2) World happiness and peace
3) To live my life once again and not make the same mistakes

Q : Did you ever think to yourself and wonder if you're really real?
A : Yeah. Many times.

Q : Are you afraid of what lies ahead of you?
A : Definitely.

Q : Would you change yourself for the person you love?
A :Not... sure what you mean. Because someone who really loves you will love you despite your flaws. But if there's that really requires change from me, then i'm fine.

Q : Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?
A : This might sound selfish but, being loved. Though loving is a great feeling too.

Q : How long do you intend to wait for someone you really love?
A : Until it comes? Haha.

Q : If the person you secretly liked is already attached, what would you do?
A : Quite depressed but just get on with life.

Q : Is there anything that made you unhappy these days?
A : Well for one, the fact that i'm putting in effort to lose weight but not losing as much as i want to.

Q : Do you get butterflies in your stomach whenever you're around the guy/girl you like?
A : Haven't loved someone real (Bill Kaulitz not counted!) in a long time. So i'm not sure. I'll be blushing, i think.

Q : Have you ever not been able to get someone out of your head?
A : mmhmm. Many people, mostly those who i love and care about, are always stuck at the back of my head.

Q : Who are currently most important people to you?
A : My Family and friends.

Q : Have you ever wanted someone but you knew you couldn't?
A : Hahaha. Bill Kaulitz. I like him as a whole, however stupid and fangirl-ish that may seem. He wears make up yet is straight, and he isn't the annoying playboy type. He gets attached to girls he loves rather than getting them into bed (like his brother).

Also, i love emotional men. (Okay i'm going off topic)

Q : Are you happy with your life?
A : Generally speaking, no. There have been too many mistakes i've made and i'm in the process of correcting them now.

Q : Would you give all in a relationship?
A : Yes! I guess i try to give it my all when i really care for someone.

Q : What type of friends do you like?
A : Now this is a very weird question. As i've said before, anyone can have a billion flaws,but you look at their good side, and you love them regardless of how many flaws they have.

That's a huge lesson i've learnt from secondary school.

Q : Do you often wish there was something you could change?
A : Yes, very often.

Q : Do you have a bestfriend?
A : Nah. I have good friends.

Q : If your lover betrayed you, what will be your reaction?
A : I'll firstly ask why he did it. Then i'll break up and have a few weeks/months of severe depression, before i can actually move on.

Dunno, i'm just like that.


6 people I tagged :

1)Anyone
2)willing
3)to
4)do
5)this
6)quiz (:

These few days i've been gaining and losing a couple of things. (Weight is certainly not one of them.. though i found out this morning that i lost 400 grams -_-)

A few days ago, my cat Panda went missing. Panda is not just some ordinary cat. We all think he's gay.

Haha, well not exactly. It's just that he's not interested in female cats because he's too interested in FOOD! Food is his sex -_-

Which technically doesn't mean he's gay either because he's not interested in male cats.

-__-

Okay so ANYWAY. He went missing. He's a very special cat to all of us, and so my parents and maid were really depressed. I too missed him because there were no two humongous eyes staring at me as if it wanted to devour me or something.

My father and maid made a couple of rounds around the neighbourhood, and he was nowhere to be seen.

So we almost resorted to what we thought was the last chance of finding him : Flyers. We still kept a few because a couple of years ago he also went missing but we eventually found him.

My father went into the car to make his way to the photocopying shop. But strangely, he returned barely a few minutes later.

He came out of the car with guess who in his hand - Panda.

Apparently when he stopped by at the nearby mosque to ask around, a couple of workers recognised Panda and handed my father a box with Panda in it.

Well the fat cat must have been really shaken. He was shivering and hyperventilating. We decided some rest - and food- will help calm his nerves.

That was a few days ago.

That very afternoon, my mother sent my grandmother's maid home. She had shown some terrible attitude problems during the course of my O'level exams, and something she did in particular yesterday totally did it. My mother screamed at her (while my brother, maid, and i took refuge in the car -_-) and sent her packing.

I don't really consider her a loss, because she has said some very mean things to me and she is a mean, egoistic and condescending person by default, but it's a loss because she was a good worker.

And the very next day, which was yesterday.

Cats are incestuous.

My male cat made his sisters and mother pregnant (haha, Gawwd.)

Yesterday one of his sisters gave birth....

Only to eat her kittens.

No, i'm not kidding, i'm serious. And it's not in the least amusing, it's downright disturbing.

Well my maid was going to feed the cats, which we keep in one room, yesterday, when she heard squeaking noises.

She suspected that my cat gave birth but she can't take seeing newborn kittens so she asked my brother and i to do the job.

We found one right beside this bloody fleshy thing which i assumed was the placenta. Then i walked around the room and found another one.

We placed them into my parents' bathroom with their mother, and left them there for a while.

My maid opened the door to check on them later... and saw blood. She immediately called my brother and i to come up.

It was disturbing. One of its legs was completely ripped off, and the face was chewed. What other possible explanation was there? Only the mother was in the toilet, and the other kitten was sound asleep.

My brother was visibly traumatised. He was crying. I had to go to the gym then.

Came back later on, and the other (surviving -_-) kitten was meowing really loudly. It needed milk, but the mother was too goddamned stupid to do anything about it.

My brother and i really tried making the mother lie down so its kitten could suckle. But this time, both parties were completely idiotic - the mother kept walking around and didn't want to sit down, and the kitten didn't know how to suckle (-__________________-)

We fed the kitten our own home milk as a last resort. The way it was meowing, crying out really loudly for its mother, was heartbreaking. It didn't really drink our milk, so we just left it there. My father told me to put to the mother inside, but i didn't want to. I didn't want the same thing to happen again.

But it was only up to the mother to feed the child. What other choice did i have?

So the mother walked into the toilet, alone with its kitten, and i immediately ran out and closed the door. I didn't want to think about what was going to happen. By the looks of it, the way the mother didn't want to feed it, it was going to die anyway.

My father announced that we were going to have dinner out, so we left the house. I think i knew what was going to happen.

Halfway through dinner, my maid called, in between sobs. This time, the mother ate everything and only left the head.

It was sick.

I was angry and still am at my cat for eating its own children - I mean, what kind of cannibalism is that?

But then again, i just know it's nature. If the cat feels threatened, and it probably did with the way my brother,maid and i kept bothering its kittens, it will eat its kittens. I thought only hamsters did that sort of thing, but apparently not.

And the latest thing i've lost today, is 400 grams. I hope i don't put it all back on with bingeing.

I still can't believe i'm going to live in a completely different place with completely different people and completely different surroundings in slightly more than a months' time.

I'm really not good with changes, see.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

He looks intimidated by the girls here HAHAHAHA

:3

I like the German language. Hah, no surprise there.

Es ist gegen meinen willen

Es ist gegen jeden sinn....

Ich hasse euch dafür

Es ist gegen meinen willen

indeed.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3dBAwXOB-oc - the translation.

Anyway, oh God. I was just reading a Bill Kaulitz interview.

Vanity Fair: When had Tom his first sex?
Bill Kaulitz: He was 14, if I remember correctly. (o_o)

VF: Your colleague Robbie Williams once told us that there are two kinds of groupies in Germany. One kind wants to take a photo during the sex to have a proof to show their friends. The other kind would ask “Robbie, are you sure your feelings for me are real?” during the sex.

BK: Tom also tells me this. Since we’re on the road so much, I didn’t take anyone to my bed. It disgusts me, to have someone I don’t even know in my bed every night. I didn’t reach this point yet. I wouldn’t have the confidence to take a girl up to my room for one night. The only private thing you have while on tour, is your hotel room. And to let someone sleep there for one night - no, I’d be really skeptic.

VF: What would you do if you were a girl for one day?

BK: I’d definitely not hook up with my brother. (LOL)

(w)hole

i want my hair to grow faster

i want to lose a lot more weight

i want to do better in my studies.. especially overseas

i want to survive overseas...0n my own

i want to be a better Muslim

i want to love and be loved

i want to be a better person - daughter, grand daughter, sister, friend

i want to be whole

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

y'know, saying ARGH, WTF, WTH, WTFH, ZOMGSH, WHAT IN THE WORLD...?, HOLY SHIT and F*CK will not sum up the regret and anger i feel now.

i'm not going to elaborate because i want to push negative thoughts as far away as possible from me, but i just want to say this : forgiveness does NOT equate to being forgotten.

if anything, it's etched in your memory like a permanent hideous scar.

especially when it has long-term consequences.

like, i don't know, sort of ruining your future for a start?

i feel like kicking myself in the ass. Why and how the hell did i get myself in such a state? Now the people who GENUINELY care about me are going to suffer with me as well.

Oh sorry, wrong way to put it. I meant suffer because of me.

this message is to my friends and anyone out there who cares if i live or die : If you see something similar happening to me, PLEASE tell me. Give me a slap in the face, a pinch on my arm, or anything which serves as a wake up call.

Because decisions on impulse - and emotional impulse at that - are the worst decisions.

I so hate consequences.

I think i can be pretty mature but i think what holds me back from having an adult mind is the fact that i make decisions based on stupid impulses and then find it impossible to take the consequences.

and i am aware of myself being an emotional person, etc but some things are not worth feeling bad for. why i didn't see it at that point of time, is a wonder.

eurgh and i hate it when people act as though nothing has happened. it's so disgusting on their part.

disgusting, ah. that's the right word to sum up this mess.

i don't like school and won't miss for a couple of reasons, but one main reason, and this is my fault, is that i've made far too many mistakes in this school. yes, mistakes will make me learn.

but to rectify them. and to face the consequences. agonizing is an understatement. you'll just hate yourself.

this sucks. seriously. and i don't mean to sound whiny, but i mean it.

---

well on a lighter note, bibah and tipa and i went out today to watch madagascar 2. It was pretty funny, though i think the first one was better.

And i love king julian, seriously.

=)

broke my diet for the hundredth time in two weeks and ate ice cream with tipa. tipa's ice cream was gorgeous but i kept reminding myself of the way i pant and feel tired in gym, and in the end i didn't buy a second helping of ice cream yayee

(omg, what an accomplishment. -_- people on real diets won't even go five metres near ice cream)

and HURRAY I RESERVED A TOKIO HOTEL CD! Paid ten bucks for it. They better give it to me quick! :[

And apparently the salesman said that recently "more people have been interested in the band" and "many people have been asking for the cd"..

.... ida. you know what this means. tokio hotel fans are among us....

it's annoying. haha atifa said she'll know how it feels if every other girl she sees squeals 'GASPARD'.

i don't like it when bands i like go mainstream. sometimes it's how i discover bands but other times i just want to keep it low. I want to like something unique. so when every other person likes the same thing... it somehow loses its uniqueness.

Someone i know described it as being in a huge swimming pool alone and enjoying yourself, when suddenly a whole bunch of people come in.

And i think that's a very accurate description.

----

Thanks to my sinful bingeing, i've put on one kg of the three i lost.

This reinforces what i said on top about consequences.

-_-

Oh well. Back to the gym tomorrow, the next day, the day after that, and so on.

Monday, November 24, 2008

(Haha atifa, you aren't the only person surfing up vids!)



Haha, Bill is a mystical creature. Riiiight.

And he uses one can of hairspray per day... o_O Whoa.



Haha Perez Hiltion is such a bitch towards the end XD

Bill's voice is as low as Tom's!!!!! =O Just.. you know. I think he makes it seem all, eh. Girly.

AND THIS INTERVIEW, GLAWLZ TO BILL



(Fast forward to around the middle of the video, when the interviewer is talking about some guy called 'Bushido'. Bushido is a German hip-hop singer rumoured to have a crush on Bill. And yes, Bushido is a man HEHEHEH)

Interviewer: I heard Bushido thinks you're erotic. What do you think about that?

Bill: Eh.. Eh.. Pfff (Hahaha he looks so cute when he does this in the interview) I am very surprised about that but if he thinks so that's very kind of him.

Interviewer: And the other way round? What do you think about Bushido?

Bill: I don't know much about Bushido, I think I met him once, I guess it was at the Echo but we never really talked much but let's see.

I like Bill ]:

This sounds retardedly childish, but if i go to London, start a band with some schoolmates, come up with a catchy tune and become extremely popular, and get invited to the EMAs next year, and somehow win an award, I'll thank Bill and Tokio Hotel and I'll say this:

And this is specially for Bill Kaulitz of Tokio Hotel. Bill, I just want to thank you for being an inspiration, in the music your band makes, the way you look, everything about you. Also thanks for being the only man in the world who wears as much makeup and as many accessories as me and yet can make me have a massive crush on you

-______________________________-

....K, ignore all that. Staying at home does things to your head, or rather, imagination. Hah.

---

K before i forget.

TAG REPLIES!

Hahaha ooops see here i go again, i got distracted with a video



What a rude song! Hahaha. But funny, nevertheless.

OKAY OKAY BACK TO TAG REPLIES -_-

Heeqmah: Eheheh.. What exactly did i say in Kapoor's blog again? I forgot. Yes, i'm going overseas. But don't worry about me. [:

Ida: Haha, why does reading my posts make you feel like a bad person? Did i say something that would make people feel guilty? o_o Lol. And haha dude, i'll be posting about Bill as long as my obsession lasts.. Which i hope it does. Till i get married. =]

Hahahahaahahahaha if Bill were a TKGian i'd totally go gay for him! Haha yeah sorry but you should have introduced sooner! The German CD is sold out in Gramaphone! (...Which means that there's TH fans in Singapore... Keep your eyes peeled. *shifty eyes*)


Atifa: HEHEHEHEHE HIS SIDE VIEW IS GORGEOUS RIGHTTTT HEEHEHEHEHHE. But doesn't look like a man at all )=

No, i think his eyebrows do. Only the eyebrows.

Haha thanks I sure hope i don't get influenced! I think i'm easily influenced tau. (Yes aishah, i'm naive okeh, i admit. Lol.)

You want to pat his head and give him flowers? I want to that too..... And more HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE *grins cacatly*

HAHAHAHA YEAH I KNOW BILL IS WEARING LIP GLOSS, LOL. You know what? As twisted as it is, i think one reason i'm so obsessed about him is because of how unique he is. Many rockbands i like have guys wearing eyeliner and black nail polish, but i know nobody who is like Bill.

I want to marry someone who's like Bill but Muslim -_- Quite contradictory eh hohoho.

Aishah: Hahaha dhey, of course ah i study hard! Hahaha. Thanks. [:

Ida: Thanks! And i'm sorry i wish i could say the same... But for me, i'll only miss people if i am far away from them. As long as we're in the same country breathing in the same air, i'm fine =]

I'll miss you all like crap though, if i'm overseas. My family, cats, house, etc. (Note to Atifa: I didn't say school hahahaha.But i'll miss you guys so much)

Atifa: ZOMGSHH ARE THOSE THE GORGEOUS TWINS YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT??? GALALALA SO HOT.

But then again, no one like Bill =] Geez am i obsessed.

Okeh okeh my maid is being annoying now and asking me to get off the comp -_-

One last vid!



That. Is a Man. o_O

I could believe Bill but this.... He's so pretty. Omg. The world is insane.

(Aishah- That's a guy from a J-rock band.)

Sunday, November 23, 2008

HOLY SHIT.























Uh, Bill, WHAT are you doing with a Mango bag?





Mango is a totally female brand, and one of my favourites, may I add.





Maybe he's so skinny he can only fit female clothes, or maybe there's a nice UNISEXUAL-looking black jacket, or pants, or nice punk-ish accessories....



Argh Bill. I wouldn't be caught dead with a Mango bag if i were you )=



Anyway i found a really cute interview which this fan translated to English from Dutch, and apparently it is said that Gustav (yes, the innocent O_O looking drummer) has the most gay fans HAHAHAHAH






BRAVO: Do you get love-letters from boys?

Tom: Yeah. A few. They get treated just like the others. They also get an autograph-card. But it’s weird to know guys like us in that way.

Bill: Gustav got most of the letters from boys. I actually thought that I would be the one who got the most. That they would think like "Because he wears make-up, he probably likes boys too.".

Georg: But if you look closely, you can see that Gustav is more like that! (laughs)

Gustav: Very funny! (frowns)

Bill: Maybe they like the 'trained-drummer' look.

(You see, Bill is aware that he looks feminine, but he is STRAIGHT.)

heheheh.

-----

So anyway, prom! I don't feel like talking much about it since it's been over a week and probably something old to everyone.

Anyway,

1) I came late - 45 minutes late. And my mother gives the best advice, seriously :

"Don't worry, for things like these, nobody turns up early."

Haha mom, turns out i was the last one in the whole sec 4 cohort of 2008 to arrive. -_-

2) It was fun! And i won a pair of movie tickets from the lucky draw.

3) Dancing was.. wild. I'm surprised that the stage didn't collapse under the whole group of TKGians on it or something.


Okay i got distracted by a couple of things



Haha, Tom, Jessica Alba.. Whuuut. -_-



HAHAHAHAHAHA TOM IS SICK HAHAHA.

"Hello Sunshine" -_- Kurang ajar hahahahaha.

Actually i wanted to blog more but i have to go now ):

Goodbye! Shall continue later, perhaps. And reply all your tags.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Today, I went to the gym and it was very fun :D

AND MORE THAN ONE PERSON SAID I LOST WEIGHT ZOMGSH, THAT'S A HELL OF A COMPLIMENT :O

THANK YOU FOR SAYING THAT :O

Looking forward to more fun things tomorrow :)

Besides gym (:

Which made me lose weight :)

And turns out I'm going to London instead, not Cambridge (-_-). The college which accepted me has branches in both states and they both accepted me, so father chose London.

I'm happy that it won't be as boring as in Cambridge, because Cambridge is a school town, where people sit around and mug, and there's nothing much to do.

But at the same time, will it distract me? London is shopping paradise in England.I am a hardcore shopaholic, regardless of whether i have $$$ or not. (Many times, not heoauhoaha.)

And my mother is afraid i will get into bad company of goths who "cocok-cocok hidung" o_O

-______________- GLAWLZZSZSZSZ.

Although, the other advantage of being in London is that i'm only 20 minutes away from my brother, as opposed to 2 hours in Cambridge.

I get the feeling i'm crapping now and not making any sense, so i'll stop here.

Shall update about prom/any outings that i may have had (note: may)/any outings i WILL have

;)

Goodbye my prettys

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Just created, or editted, a blogskin, if you will =)

Ain't it prettyyyyyy hehehehehehe (sorry, being all jakon here)

Alright took two hours to do this, going to sleep now.

By the way, this is a temporary blog, actually to test out blogskins, but this blogskin somehow doesn't work for the other one.

So until i change my blogskin again. This one is just way to pretty to let go off.

GOODNIGHT (:

I like/want to meet/want to date/am very interested in anyone who is/like/very similar to this:

plugs.
tipa
aishah
ida
bibah
aputiky
shivani
lisha
kapoor
nadia lamri
charis
heeqmah
ain
natalie
hanis
shahrin
CAMBODIA Fatihah



credits.
blogskins host greene_sprit's layout

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